Sunday, December 6, 2009
Men clambered over rubble and brick scavenging for the littlest things that were of use to them. The unruly terrain was a menace and a gold mine for anyone who dared walked atop these hills. In the midst of this hunt, there upon a brick, lay a mirror. It shone brilliantly for a moment as the clouds parted for a single ray of sunlight, gracing its grimy surface. Like cannibals pouncing on the dead, the men jumped and leaped ferociously for the kill, tussling savagely with whatever strength they have left. Punching and kicking like little kids, they fought. Fighting in an ironic ballet of sweat and violence. A ballet that was careful and ruthless. And as fate would have it, the mirror was broken in all the chaos. Having scarred several men during its short-lived popularity, it was laid to rest amongst the ruins like all the other useless celebrities before.
The exterior on which the men were standing on looked derelict to say the least. What was left of anything was completely obliterated. Unfamiliar to the old but strangely familiar in this contemporary society. What was once a tower and headquarters was now an unrecognisable concrete dump. It used to be an establishment of justice. A symbol for hope.
A little to the left of this establishment stood an old shop house. Where there was a glass dome roof, now sported a gaping hole for which birds flew in and out as they pleased making it a natural bird's nest if you will.
The chaos was ubiquitous. The dust prevalent. Diffused light struggled through the polluted clouds illuminating the destroyed city. Dead bodies found themselves along the banks of the once majestic river, the stench overpowering all senses. This was apocalypse.
In the darkened alleys where the rats used to feast lie the remains of a little girl. Not the remains that can be identified, rather her scorched image upon the ground on which she last stood. If you knew her you would probably remember her as a delightful young lady with the uncanny ability to make people smile. Then again, no one does. The last thing that she will be remembered for, however ironic, lay upon a brick 3 miles away. Scrawled just below a crumbling heap of metal was a series of words written in Heather's small handwriting.
She whispers,"Save me" Save me...
My voice is not very low
But it can be heard even on this train
Like a song in the wind
Like a flag in the breeze
Like a rose on a bed
Sunday, November 29, 2009
I'll not remember the past but I'll write it here to be remembered
I'll not imagine the future for it changes colour like a lizard
So what's the point?
The point is to update, to tell a story, to understand my own thoughts
The point is to learn from experiences and re-experience it all
The point is to grow with the changing times
So what now?
Now I have to make decisions
Now I have to choose
Now I have to make the right choice
Or screw myself too
So Enough of me, What about you?
Learning humility and compassion all over again
Learning care and concern
Learning to forgive and forget
And to leave the rest behind
But how does one go about doing such things?
Breaking porcelain vases in the morning
Tearing at hair strands by the beach
Screaming for CHAOS in the washroom
Go about it slowly...
One step at a time
A small one every time
Beating the imminent procrastination
So survive if nothing else
Survive
Friday, November 20, 2009
The sweetest part of my day...eating aunty anne's and reading a book.
Why are there 12 days of Christmas?
White Tigers afraid of Chickens. What is the world coming to?
Dancers pounding the dance floor out of sync
A Bow that moved nations
Sleeping in the mrt
Feeling awkward about seat placement
Talking to strangers the most rewarding part of my day
Listening to oldies
Learning science
Reliving my lost childhood
Basking in my childishness
A cause for worry. Guilt ridden money spent
GO SPIDERMAN!
*deep voice* GO BATMAN!
a fantasy world to escape to
Why does water distort images?
Water and how it killed my plans
The bus of nonexistence
A forced smile towards conflict
"I'm fine" when I'm not
Smile when I'm not happy
Love tears at my heart
My heart tears at my mind
My mind tears my body and my body breaks everything else
Why do things happen?
Why am I here?
What is this? A Trial For My Life?
God where are you?
End of the world anyone?
In front of the world and its stage...shit happens...and people laugh...laugh at all the actors who have come out to play
Monday, November 2, 2009
My eyes are opened, closed and wandering.
OPENED
My eyes have been opened to compassion. Compassion for others. Not only to take pity, or to empathise but to act and behave compassionately on the basis of doing to others what you want to be done to yourself. I've seen it happen in front of my eyes. And people I have respect for, have suddenly materialised and shown me the world in a different light. We are so self-absorbed. We only think for ourselves. We only think for our own good. Selfish bastards(including me). A change is needed. A new world is needed. A world where everyone is a friend who helps people in need. A world where barriers can be broken by un-shyness. A world where an act of kindness brings a smile to someone's face. A thank you. An unfounded gratitude.
And as the world is compassionate. I have to talk about hatred. Of Despise. Of un-forgiveness. With my eyes opened to compassion, Hatred, despise and all other negative behaviours stand out. The love has gone from the world. Only through compassion can love yet again be found. Only through forgiveness can love be found. I have been treated badly and I feel a deep sense of fatigue. My soul is heavy and burdened with all these worries. All these reciprocated feelings. I have to slowly let go and love. "Love thy neighbour" the bible says. So love I shall learn how.
By doing something instead of another. The world is changed. People's lives are changed. Life paths are crossed. A butterfly effect if you will.
CLOSED
I have certainly been kept in the dark. There are many things I do not know. Many things I was not meant to know. And they say ignorance is bliss. Ignorance is frustrating. And I am frustrated. Frustrated to the point of resignation. Humour is my friend.
I am blind to the problems of others. Blinded and staggering unsteadily, how do you expect me to help? All I can do now is to stand by your side as you fight this out. Please understand that I can't lead your life. I can't be THAT bus driver.
WANDERING
My purpose in life. Undecided I am. Tough choices I have to make to achieve 'a better future'. The paths are laid out. All I have to do is choose.
What do I want to do with my life? What do I want to accomplish in my lifetime? Where do my priorities lie? What will eventually make me and everyone around me happy? WHO AM I? WHAT DEFINES ME?
ernest is broken...and slowly mending...
Friday, October 23, 2009
Abit sad. I'm honestly lost for words. Is it my brain or me?
I've come back from China. Apparently in China, blogger is banned. Along with facebook, youtube and a whole load of other websites.
So my absence is called for.
But after all's said and done. WUHAN ROCKS! It was the trip of a lifetime with school work. If you want to know more. Call me out and I'll go on and on and on about China.
Took alot of pictures. Will show you if you come find me.
Ohhh by the way...I'm having Wuhan Dreams...hahah
(thats how awesome it is)
Lets see...Made some new friends...Got some new shoes...Bought a few clothes...THE USUAL
Sadly once more...School has started and already I'm rushing projects. Its a never-ending cycle. Run run run run run.
We need to slow down. Look at our surroundings. Look at the trees. Look at the birds. And most of all look at the smiling faces.
Currently I'm just lazing around. I need to get down to work actually. And I'm planning to start writing for a novel. Perhaps a short one to get me started. It's been a long time since I actually wrote anything substantial.
Did some poetry actually but its too RAW and IN YOUR FACE! to be read. Come find me if you want to read.
IDEAS I NEED IDEAS...LOADS OF THEM...Have to start meditating...LOL
THE PERFECT GUY IS GAY...So settle for IMPERFECTION
This is it for now blog. For the time being...
Think about THINGS...Like...
If a Mountain Lion ROARS in his den, and no one hears it, does it still mean that the roar is a sound?
Guy: It isn't a sound. In the eyes of physicists, they are just vibrations.
To neuro-scientists, the process by which the mountain lion roars, creating vibrations in the air, which is then picked up by the sensitive human ear, which then converts the vibration messages into electrical signals which the brain then interprets which impresses upon us is considered SOUND.
Awesome stuff...
Love thy neighbour the bible says
But you don't love me
Thursday, August 27, 2009
I think I should try to revive my blog. This is a way for me to clear my mind and make this trip an unforgettable one for me. But instead of the boring old way that tell people what happens to me and how it happens, I'm going to write it in the form of a story. With YOU being the reader. No harm trying I guess...Sooo this story is titled: China Trip [how lame =O]
China Trip
Ernest was rummaging through a pile of junk. Junk that included random pieces of paper he felt that might be needed in future, which he has never used. Junk that included random electronic chargers, an external hard drive, a battery or 2, with wires that intertwined unconsciously overtime. As irritating as it was, he never bothered. Junk that included Cds, Books, A Face mask?, little pieces of tissue paper. It was quite a sight to behold. A pig's sty his mum calls it.
Today he was searching for his memory card adaptor. Lo and behold it was right in front of him. He hit himself in the head. With a burst of energy, he bounded the steps up to the second floor of his house. Given his lack of stamina, he ended panting slightly despite the extremely minimal workout.
He entered the 'study room' which was used for storage more than anything else. With his right hand he places the charger along with the mess of crudely put together essentials for the trip. The trip to China. He stared at the mess. He looked at the clock. He thought of the day.
"There's still time," he said to himself.
It was 2 days away...
Ernest rushed to buy locks.
Ernest rushed to buy food.
Ernest rushed to school.
Ernest rushed home.
Ernest rushed to prepare mentally. Never achieved. He still thinks its the holidays.
Amidst all the chaos and rush, he manages to find time to spend his very early birthday celebration. Well you see, Ernest is going to be 18 this year. His friends have kindly celebrated it before he leaves for the 6 weeks. Although he never mentions it, but he's deeply thankful for the gesture. Thankful for the company. And as he blows the candle on the cake he reminded himself of the things he'll miss here in Singapore. It was a good night. With a smile on his face he'll sleep, ready for whatever the world has to offer.
"Bring it on!" he says.
BRING IT ON
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
This blog is in ruins...UnUpdated and left to die...readership has dropped drastically...
For the faithful readers and the ones who bother. Thanks...=]
Sooooo...
Lets start this blog post on a roll. My relatives came over to my house last saturday and as we sat down for dinner, I heard the cries of the common folk. I was able to understand their woes and their concerns. I heard of the various ways they were trying to overcome them and I was astonished at the lengths they were willing to go. The common folk make up the population. Perhaps having a conservative society is detrimental after all. While we make up for it with being chaste, being morally upright, polite and at the same time indifferent, it has its downsides.
Mind your business they say. Well its come to a point where its their business.
Moving on to less deep topics...
I'M DONE!!!! YAYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!
The holidays are here
And its time for cheer
No more homework
No more activities
No more school
No more going to school
No more bumping into friends
No more doing something useful
No more living life with something to do
No more doing something against my will
No more anything...
=(
Haha believe it anot...I love school...School rocks...Gives me something to do...keeps me occupied...gives me a sense of purpose...
Now all this energy has to diverted elsewhere! Like religion. Or novels. Or PHOTOGRAPHY!!!! Im going photography crazyyy because im going to China...Need to brush up my skills and read up before going there!!!! Dream of my lenses...BRing out for test drive...Practice my skills
I AM ONE WITH MY LENS....hummmmmmmm
hahah...
Sadly and Happily Its only one week away to Wuhan China. And then i'll be gone for 6 weeks...Wonder how it will change me...What revelations will I get...What pictures worth a lifetime of stories...What fun, what Lessons I will learn...CANT WAIT...
But for now...A revelation here in Singapore...I was bathing...and this came to me...
That everything and everyone is similar...We spend too much time realising the differences that we fail to recognise our similarities...
Take for example male and females...Females have tits...Guys have tits...Both have hearts and brains...The only thing different is the sexual organs and the hormonal aspect of the body...BUT EVERYTHING ELSE, We are the same....WE ARE HUMAN...
Same goes for living and non-living things. We are not determined by our inability to live or ability to live. But we are determined by our existence. WE ARE HERE...
We are not MALE or FEMALE, WE are HUMAN.
We are not LIVING or NON-LIVING, WE are HERE.